Thoughts From A Journal

 

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How it all began…

 

 

July 8, 2015                                   1:45 a.m.

We were once lovers.

Where when we first met there was an instant connection of affection and lust.

Days became weeks; weeks became months.

Until, the days started to drag and everything you did that made me happy is now everything that makes me sad.

Minutes into hours, where nights turned into days without sleep.

Now, we are strangers and that’s all we’ll ever be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 22, 2015                              7:15 a.m.

I feel like I am in a maze created by you.

No direction, no path to follow.

Just you and me.

Just us against the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 4, 2015                                     9:11 p.m.

Even though there are plenty of fish in the sea,

You’re the only fish I’d bring to shore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 10, 2015                               10:50 p.m.

I feel nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Maybe this is a good thing.

But I want to feel something.

I’m numb, just so numb.

It’s like my feelings have vanished without permission of me wanting them to.

I’m completely emotionless.

 

Edited: March 20, 2015                  11:37 p.m.

But I still have those days where I feel everything.

The cycle starts all over again.

I miss you all over again.

I go to sleep drenched in nostalgia.

I wrote this exactly 10 days ago.

Ten days today where everything changed.

 

 

 

 

 

March 23, 2015                                   1:32 p.m.

Because once you fall in love,

It’s the beginning and end of everything.

When I met you that was the beginning;

When you left me that was the end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 7, 2015                       8:43 p.m.

Sometimes I find myself missing you more than I should.

 

 

Edited: March 16, 2015    

But while I was missing you,

You were too busy missing someone else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 8, 2015                    11:08 p.m.

Sometimes I like to go back and re-read old writings just to see if things have changed.

And how much they have changed.

And if they will forever remain the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 16, 2015                          12:34 a.m.

I could sit here and write about you all day long,

But that would simply solve nothing.

You have somehow become a better me.

You’ve made me a better me.

My body was so accustomed to this theory of  happiness that no longer existed.

You helped me see what reality was capable of and I can’t thank you enough for that.

You fixed me in such short notice.

My writing no longer consists of sadness and lost hopes.

It now consist of change.

And I know that change isn’t always good,

But this change is something that I’ve never experienced before.

It’s a change that I can get used to without reminiscing so hard about.

So thank you for helping me see a better me,

And a weaker version of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 10, 2015                             10:03 a.m.

Something is missing from me… And that something is you.

 

 

Edited: March 16, 2015

But it wasn’t you missing from me.

It was me missing from myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

April 23, 2016                                     11:30 a.m.

Before you were here, it was just a city.

When you arrived, this city became home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 23, 2017                           11:32 p.m.

I can’t believe I’m still waiting on that long text message that you’d never send.

Maybe after all it’s better if we’re just friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 25, 2017                                    12:43 a.m.

I really thought that we were meant for each other. You tell the others that I’m your

dream but you come back and say that you’re no good for me. You always say how I

deserve someone better when it’s you that makes me better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

July 18, 2017                               11:48 p.m.

They say he gave the world to all of his past lovers, but for you, for you, he’d give the

universe.

 

 

 

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